24 September 2007

The Bug -- Part Two

Ok. Thanks to those of you who are still with us on this story. Please note: this is not meant to be an indictment of Chinese food. That would be ridiculous. I have had some amazing Chinese meals. This doesn't really have to do with the style of food.

It has to do with refrigeration. And the nine easy steps.

Dig: as I said before, following the hurricane power was out in some parts for almost a week.

That's probably when the bug festered. And grew. And planted itself deep within the crevices of each and every piece of warm butchered flesh.

Now, some of you are asking: But, Shelly, aren't you a vegetarian? How could you possibly catch a meat-borne illness?

Alas. This is the story of the filthy kitchen knife. Here's what I figure:

Step One: power goes out.
Step Two: the owners figure the power will come back on.
Step Three: the power is still not on (days later).
Step Four: owners toss things that smell bad.
Step Five: power comes on.
Step Six: carry-out business picks up because folks don't have groceries.
Step Seven: cook slices a piece of infected (not-quite-smelly-enough) beef and then uses the same kitchen knife to slice up some veggie-innards for an egg roll.
Step Eight: I walk in and purchase said eggroll.
Step Nine: I eat said eggroll, hallucinate for days, and come close to death.

There you go. Nine easy steps.

(Tomorrow's installment: cool E. Coli hallucinations... bring on the spears and demons!)


mamiesb said...

Fine. Chinese food is fabulous. I've had some incredible Chinese food, both before I witnessed the aftermath of this event, and after. Nonetheless.....

Two years. Call it a purely psychosomatic response. I can take it.

MJ said...

Any recommendations on where to get good (I mean really good, not just "that's good" good) Chinese food? It's been four years for us.

mamiesb said...

Szechuan Best on Liberty Road. It looks like a flat-out dump, but has REALLY good food. They have a huge vegetarian menu.

I've heard rumors that it's closed. From the outside you can't tell... which gives you an idea of what it looks like.

Invite me over. I'll bring some of my favorite Liberty Road carryout (assuming it's open). Block out the memory of this evil event (the tale of which I am now approaching with some caution).

(Oh, if it's closed,try Ding How in Fells Point or Golden Gate Noodle House in Towson. Avoid the egg drop soup. Actually ,ALWAYS avoid the egg drop soup.)