Ok. Thanks to those of you who are still with us on this story. Please note: this is not meant to be an indictment of Chinese food. That would be ridiculous. I have had some amazing Chinese meals. This doesn't really have to do with the style of food.
It has to do with refrigeration. And the nine easy steps.
Dig: as I said before, following the hurricane power was out in some parts for almost a week.
That's probably when the bug festered. And grew. And planted itself deep within the crevices of each and every piece of warm butchered flesh.
Now, some of you are asking: But, Shelly, aren't you a vegetarian? How could you possibly catch a meat-borne illness?
Alas. This is the story of the filthy kitchen knife. Here's what I figure:
Step One: power goes out.
Step Two: the owners figure the power will come back on.
Step Three: the power is still not on (days later).
Step Four: owners toss things that smell bad.
Step Five: power comes on.
Step Six: carry-out business picks up because folks don't have groceries.
Step Seven: cook slices a piece of infected (not-quite-smelly-enough) beef and then uses the same kitchen knife to slice up some veggie-innards for an egg roll.
Step Eight: I walk in and purchase said eggroll.
Step Nine: I eat said eggroll, hallucinate for days, and come close to death.
There you go. Nine easy steps.
(Tomorrow's installment: cool E. Coli hallucinations... bring on the spears and demons!)