The Bug -- Part Five -- the conclusion

I think it was the fifth day of my stay in the hospital that the doctor told me what I had.

Food poisoning.

Go figure. You mean I don't have TB, after all? Rats. I was just getting used to this ward.

At least, for all my trouble, I could boast that I had survived a particularly nasty strain of E. coli. Apparently, it entered my body, set up shop, and began purging my intestines of unnecessary things -- like its own lining. Too bad any and all the scars are on the inside. I mean, could you have imagined me in that scene in the boat from 'Jaws'!

"Oh yeah? You think that's something? Well check this out. This is from when a bug tried to eat my colon."

When I got back to work on Monday, my buddy Bob had a welcome-back present for me: a plant.

Potted in a carry-out box.