The Price of Freedom

I am always the last one on the gravy train.

Jeez, I mean, if I had known that $50 entrees came with the lifestyle of the average congressman, I'd have begun campaigning years ago.

Sure we've all heard about the golf trips and the cruises and the prostitutes, but c'mon, now we're talking about free rounds at the Capital Grille!

And some lawmakers want to put an end to this?!?

According to a report by David D. Kirkpatrick in the August 7, 2007 edition of the New York Times, young lobbyists are feeling the pinch of congressional reform. Apparently many of these poor K Street serfs are missing out on many of the social perks their predecessors took for granted, and all on account of the appearance that catching a congressman's tab on a prime rib and drinks at a major Washington social institution that caters to the political elite could possibly be construed as a minor bribe.

Go figure.

I sure wish I got more free dinners. And that's why I'm running in the next congressional election.

My platform?

'Lobbyists have the right to buy me dinner!'

I mean, if you can't trust the judgment of a well-fed congressman, then tell me just who in this world can you trust? Why, I'd even go so far as to say that to deny lobbyists the right to wine and dine our political representatives in Washington is to support terrorism!

I mean, without steak and wine -- let alone the complimentary Martini -- how do you expect anything to get done in this country? Our national defense depends upon free Cosmopolitans!