I'm beat.
Been working the last few nights to finish the mix of a new album. Been working on this beast since December. It's time to finish it.
There's only one thing that got me through last night: Wasabi Edamame.
That's right, I owe whatever inspiration might exist on those mixes to a horseradish-covered soybean.
Ever think how much more peaceful the world would be if we covered everything in Wasabi? Really now, have you ever seen anyone wage an act of aggression, abuse authority, belittle the meek, or pander to ignorance whilst in the midst of a sinus-clearing Wasabi injection?
I think the stuff should be mandatory in Washington, D.C.
Let's get an Amendment written: mandatory continuous two-minute Wasabi shots during waking hours for all members of the executive and legislative branches (not the Supreme Court... I don't think they'd be able to handle the Wasabi. We'd have to start them out on something that made them more alive to begin with. Maybe lithium).
Just think about it:
President: Mr. Ahmadinejad should know that the nuclear option is not off the... WHOA NELLIE! [gasping for air / hands waving furiously].
Press Corps: Mr. President, Mr. President, are you alright?!?
President: Whew. [eyes watering]... Yeah, but let's go, I've only got two minutes before the next one. Anyone got a glass of water? Where was I?
Press Corps: The nuclear option.
President: Yeah, well screw all that. Can I get one of them Maki Rolls?
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
15 August 2007
07 August 2007
The Price of Freedom
I am always the last one on the gravy train.
Jeez, I mean, if I had known that $50 entrees came with the lifestyle of the average congressman, I'd have begun campaigning years ago.
Sure we've all heard about the golf trips and the cruises and the prostitutes, but c'mon, now we're talking about free rounds at the Capital Grille!
And some lawmakers want to put an end to this?!?
According to a report by David D. Kirkpatrick in the August 7, 2007 edition of the New York Times, young lobbyists are feeling the pinch of congressional reform. Apparently many of these poor K Street serfs are missing out on many of the social perks their predecessors took for granted, and all on account of the appearance that catching a congressman's tab on a prime rib and drinks at a major Washington social institution that caters to the political elite could possibly be construed as a minor bribe.
Go figure.
I sure wish I got more free dinners. And that's why I'm running in the next congressional election.
My platform?
'Lobbyists have the right to buy me dinner!'
I mean, if you can't trust the judgment of a well-fed congressman, then tell me just who in this world can you trust? Why, I'd even go so far as to say that to deny lobbyists the right to wine and dine our political representatives in Washington is to support terrorism!
I mean, without steak and wine -- let alone the complimentary Martini -- how do you expect anything to get done in this country? Our national defense depends upon free Cosmopolitans!
Jeez, I mean, if I had known that $50 entrees came with the lifestyle of the average congressman, I'd have begun campaigning years ago.
Sure we've all heard about the golf trips and the cruises and the prostitutes, but c'mon, now we're talking about free rounds at the Capital Grille!
And some lawmakers want to put an end to this?!?
According to a report by David D. Kirkpatrick in the August 7, 2007 edition of the New York Times, young lobbyists are feeling the pinch of congressional reform. Apparently many of these poor K Street serfs are missing out on many of the social perks their predecessors took for granted, and all on account of the appearance that catching a congressman's tab on a prime rib and drinks at a major Washington social institution that caters to the political elite could possibly be construed as a minor bribe.
Go figure.
I sure wish I got more free dinners. And that's why I'm running in the next congressional election.
My platform?
'Lobbyists have the right to buy me dinner!'
I mean, if you can't trust the judgment of a well-fed congressman, then tell me just who in this world can you trust? Why, I'd even go so far as to say that to deny lobbyists the right to wine and dine our political representatives in Washington is to support terrorism!
I mean, without steak and wine -- let alone the complimentary Martini -- how do you expect anything to get done in this country? Our national defense depends upon free Cosmopolitans!
24 July 2007
Politics and Food: the CNN / YouTube Debate
"What the mass media offers is not popular art, but entertainment which is intended to be consumed like food, forgotten, and replaced by a new dish." -- W.H. Auden
More than ever.
I watched the CNN/YouTube debate last night, and the similarities between it and the nation's fast-food were more than canny. First of all, by means of format, the fact that the questions in the debate came from 'average citizens' obscured how those questions were chosen. As I watched this infomercial-dressed-up-like-a-presidential-debate play out, I considered its likeness to the advertising put into fast-food.
Consider the 'Have it your way' campaign. Seriously now. Unless 'your way' includes the global mass production of standardized patties of cow slathered in American cheese on a stale bun, you'll probably soon come to the conclusion that you're really getting it 'their way'. You basically get to choose the condiments.
Hold the onions. There, that makes me feel in control. Makes me feel like my voice matters. I'm loving it.
Secondly, it impressed me to no end how much the nicety-patrol on Anderson Cooper's blog commended him for keeping the candidates to the thirty-second time limit set for answering questions that are purported to have reflected the feelings and fears of the common folk. Apparently CNN believes that any candidate should be able to respond serious on matters of policy and moral courage in the amount of time it takes to gulp a 64oz Mountain Dew.
Lastly, let's talk about the cynicism. Watching this debate through my occasionally failing old DSL, I couldn't help but think how happy the handlers of these professional politicians must have felt to have had this opportunity fall in their lap. I mean, the ability to take part in a historically hyper-promoted candidates' debate and not have to worry about any follow-up questions or rebuttals! Amazing. Everything about this debate was designed for the soundbite (go figure, but really this was just over-the-top). He or she with the best speech-writers and campaign managers came out on top, as usual. Those candidates marginalized by this format (including some very intelligent and experienced people... you know who they are) either go for laughs or become the brunt of them. The whole thing is a sham. And we all know this.
Deep down we know that this kind of commercialization of political discourse is poison. It may taste good while it's going down, but it's gonna be Tums for dessert.
More than ever.
I watched the CNN/YouTube debate last night, and the similarities between it and the nation's fast-food were more than canny. First of all, by means of format, the fact that the questions in the debate came from 'average citizens' obscured how those questions were chosen. As I watched this infomercial-dressed-up-like-a-presidential-debate play out, I considered its likeness to the advertising put into fast-food.
Consider the 'Have it your way' campaign. Seriously now. Unless 'your way' includes the global mass production of standardized patties of cow slathered in American cheese on a stale bun, you'll probably soon come to the conclusion that you're really getting it 'their way'. You basically get to choose the condiments.
Hold the onions. There, that makes me feel in control. Makes me feel like my voice matters. I'm loving it.
Secondly, it impressed me to no end how much the nicety-patrol on Anderson Cooper's blog commended him for keeping the candidates to the thirty-second time limit set for answering questions that are purported to have reflected the feelings and fears of the common folk. Apparently CNN believes that any candidate should be able to respond serious on matters of policy and moral courage in the amount of time it takes to gulp a 64oz Mountain Dew.
Lastly, let's talk about the cynicism. Watching this debate through my occasionally failing old DSL, I couldn't help but think how happy the handlers of these professional politicians must have felt to have had this opportunity fall in their lap. I mean, the ability to take part in a historically hyper-promoted candidates' debate and not have to worry about any follow-up questions or rebuttals! Amazing. Everything about this debate was designed for the soundbite (go figure, but really this was just over-the-top). He or she with the best speech-writers and campaign managers came out on top, as usual. Those candidates marginalized by this format (including some very intelligent and experienced people... you know who they are) either go for laughs or become the brunt of them. The whole thing is a sham. And we all know this.
Deep down we know that this kind of commercialization of political discourse is poison. It may taste good while it's going down, but it's gonna be Tums for dessert.
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