Catfood is gross.

Catfood is gross.

The cats know this.

Sure, they'll eat it. And they might even eat a lot of it. And it is absolutely certain that if you do not give it to them, they will let you know.

But deep down inside, cats know that catfood is gross. That is the only explanation I can offer to explain why I can't eat a meal at my kitchen table without my cat jumping in my lap. Got a paw in my spaghetti this evening.

As I see it: the reason the cat wanted to eat my spaghetti is because my spaghetti is not gross. Catfood is gross. Edible, but gross.

Cats prefer raw fish. Or a bird. You never see a cat in the wild hunting for catfood.

My cat's taste for spaghetti doesn't surprise me. The first time I was in Rome, I stayed at an apartment near Villa Ado. Walking into the building I noticed little bowls of plain pasta sitting around on the curb. I figured someone had forgotten to clean up after a lunch out-of-doors. No. I was wrong. The pasta was for the neighborhood cats. Same cats that the locals had to brush off the hoods of their cars in the morning. Intensely well fed pasta eating cats.

That's where my cat must get it from. Somehow this love of pasta has been exported throughout the feline genepool. And now I can't eat spaghetti without getting a paw shoved in my mouth.

Damn Italian cats.

Ah! But here's a final thought. Perhaps we should treat this as an opportunity.

You get me some capital and we'll start a new brand of spaghetti-flavored catfood.

We'll call it 'Gatto Tomahto'.

I bet it'll be gross.