I don't care who you are, I ain't eating moose.
- Shelly
30 August 2008
26 August 2008
Super Villain Vegetable Challange
Beware the Zucchini Moose! Look into his eyes and you may fall under his infamous summer squash spell!
(Now it's your turn to create your own vegetable-related super villain).
Be creative. Post away.
20 August 2008
Little Swim
This has nothing to do with food. Ironically given the last few posts, it has everything to do with swimming.
Four or five weeks ago I joined the Y. Besides just getting on a regular exercise regimen, I had an express purpose for shelling out the dough. I wanted to teach the kids to swim.
Not pay for swim lessons.
Not hire some guy to teach the tykes.
I wanted to do it myself.
Well, today my 5 year old daughter swam unassisted and without any flotation devices three time back and forth from the diving wall to the 8' mark in the center of the lane.
Awesome.
Four or five weeks ago I joined the Y. Besides just getting on a regular exercise regimen, I had an express purpose for shelling out the dough. I wanted to teach the kids to swim.
Not pay for swim lessons.
Not hire some guy to teach the tykes.
I wanted to do it myself.
Well, today my 5 year old daughter swam unassisted and without any flotation devices three time back and forth from the diving wall to the 8' mark in the center of the lane.
Awesome.
18 August 2008
You Just Dominated the Olympics, What's Next?
Ok. So much for my dream of Michael Phelps dissing McDonalds:
The first thing he craved after becoming the greatest Olympian ever?
"A big, fat cheeseburger and some fries," he said, smiling at the memory.
Heck, why not... we're only talking about 300 calories. Heck, have four or five of 'em, Michael! And supersize those fries... another 500 or so calories (and only 220 'from fat'!).
Oh well. At least now fat-cheeseburger eating kids across the nation know that if they just put their minds to it, they too can win in the Olympics. Here's a nutrition guide from Mickey D's to chart your progress.
The first thing he craved after becoming the greatest Olympian ever?
"A big, fat cheeseburger and some fries," he said, smiling at the memory.
Heck, why not... we're only talking about 300 calories. Heck, have four or five of 'em, Michael! And supersize those fries... another 500 or so calories (and only 220 'from fat'!).
Oh well. At least now fat-cheeseburger eating kids across the nation know that if they just put their minds to it, they too can win in the Olympics. Here's a nutrition guide from Mickey D's to chart your progress.
16 August 2008
Big Swim
I don't think I could even afford to eat 12,000 calories a day. Of course, I'm not exactly Michael Phelps.
Did discover that 3,500 fat calories can put three pounds on the average male. That's more than it's weight in Doritos.
Hmm. Wonder what Michael Phelps would swim like if he ate 12,000 calories of Doritos a day...
Did discover that 3,500 fat calories can put three pounds on the average male. That's more than it's weight in Doritos.
Hmm. Wonder what Michael Phelps would swim like if he ate 12,000 calories of Doritos a day...
15 August 2008
O-Blymp-ic Coverage
NBC's coverage of the 2008 Olympics is horrible.
We're almost a week in and I haven't seen a damned thing besides swimming, gymnastics, and volleyball. Meanwhile, weightlifting, boxing, and even basketball (!) are getting little coverage.
When I was a kid, I thought the cool thing about the Olympics was all the sports I learned about that I'd known nothing about. Archery! Judo! Fencing! Handball! You know, something different.
I had thought in the beginning of these games that the coverage of the bicycle race was a sign that coverage was gonna be more varied. Alas. They've spent so much time in the pool, my television is wet.
I understand all the hype around Michael Phelps, sure. But do we really need second by second coverage of fifteen-minute long prelim swims?
The Ancient Greeks didn't even swim, did they?
Nor did they eat hamburgers. Which brings me to my second point.
What's with McDonalds and the Olympics? Do you really think ANY Olympic athlete would dare put that grease into their systems? They'd probably fail the drug test!
Yet, every other commercial is a McDonalds commercial.
I recently heard on NPR that McDonalds was updating its image. In the face of economic decline, McDonalds is capitalizing on the T.G.I.F. crowd not being able to afford T.G.I.F. So you know what they did? They've been installing lamps over tables.
Lamps!
Mood lighting and supersized heart-attack fries. How sophisticated. Before you know it, they'll be hanging license-plates on the walls. Radical.
I wish health food stores could afford commercial coverage during the Olympics. What would be even better is if after winning his 78th gold medal of this Games, someone offers Michael Phelps a Big Mac during the post-swim interview and he just said, "Are you crazy?!? I'm not eating that crap!"
We're almost a week in and I haven't seen a damned thing besides swimming, gymnastics, and volleyball. Meanwhile, weightlifting, boxing, and even basketball (!) are getting little coverage.
When I was a kid, I thought the cool thing about the Olympics was all the sports I learned about that I'd known nothing about. Archery! Judo! Fencing! Handball! You know, something different.
I had thought in the beginning of these games that the coverage of the bicycle race was a sign that coverage was gonna be more varied. Alas. They've spent so much time in the pool, my television is wet.
I understand all the hype around Michael Phelps, sure. But do we really need second by second coverage of fifteen-minute long prelim swims?
The Ancient Greeks didn't even swim, did they?
Nor did they eat hamburgers. Which brings me to my second point.
What's with McDonalds and the Olympics? Do you really think ANY Olympic athlete would dare put that grease into their systems? They'd probably fail the drug test!
Yet, every other commercial is a McDonalds commercial.
I recently heard on NPR that McDonalds was updating its image. In the face of economic decline, McDonalds is capitalizing on the T.G.I.F. crowd not being able to afford T.G.I.F. So you know what they did? They've been installing lamps over tables.
Lamps!
Mood lighting and supersized heart-attack fries. How sophisticated. Before you know it, they'll be hanging license-plates on the walls. Radical.
I wish health food stores could afford commercial coverage during the Olympics. What would be even better is if after winning his 78th gold medal of this Games, someone offers Michael Phelps a Big Mac during the post-swim interview and he just said, "Are you crazy?!? I'm not eating that crap!"
13 August 2008
12 August 2008
11 August 2008
This one won't make sense unless you follow the link, but then it suddenly becomes hilarious...
I have no idea how people keep their blogs going. Especially during the Olympics.
I've got Olympic fever so bad, it makes food poisoning look like the sniffles.
So what about those Olympic games? And what about those Olympic tastebuds? Well, how about goose liver and a 'thousand-layer' beancurd cake? Yum.
Yum?
Well, if it's good enough for a handful of diplomats, it's good enough for thousands of Tibetans, no? Well... no.
86 the melon cup for the peasants.
I've got Olympic fever so bad, it makes food poisoning look like the sniffles.
So what about those Olympic games? And what about those Olympic tastebuds? Well, how about goose liver and a 'thousand-layer' beancurd cake? Yum.
Yum?
Well, if it's good enough for a handful of diplomats, it's good enough for thousands of Tibetans, no? Well... no.
86 the melon cup for the peasants.
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